Emotional Frist Aide...

EMOTIONAL FIRST AIDE
(  Nicholas Long, Conflict in The Classroom )

1. Drain off Frustration

•       “ Look out I can’t take it anymore”

2. Provide Support in moments of STRESS…

•       “Let me know You care”

3. Maintain Communication in moments of Relationship Decay

•       “You can’t make me listen”

4. Regulation of social and Behavioral Traffic

•       “Teacher…  seeing ahead”. Umpire Skills.

Once students are in an agitated state, de-escalation skills will be needed to help the student regain a sense of composure. Remember, every action and statement should reflect the goal of calming the student down!!

Keep in mind the following:

·         Keep voices calm, supportive, and neutral. Avoid tone of voice or words that could be interpreted as threatening or challenging.

·         Give student’s time to vent. They may need to release their angry feelings before they can start the process of calming themselves. Don’t rush them.

·         Recognize the student’s feelings. Use tentative reflections and have the student validate or correct perceptions.

·         Don’t try to prove a point. This isn’t the time to press about who was wrong, give a lecture, or continue to pile on the consequences. That will only inflame the situation. Leave the teachable moment until after the student calms down.

·         Keep safety in mind. If the student escalates or seems to be getting physical, get help.

 

Seeing Underneath Behaviors..

The misbehavior of troubled children is seldom what it first appears to be.  Understanding this, I believe, is the only place to start. No child has a need to create a life of conflict.

      (L. Tobin)

Pain Based Behavior- Where does it come from? Watch- Antwone Fisher

 PAIN BASED BEHAVIOR....

Troubled Kids- Movies- Antwone Fisher

A very good look at troubled kids and their defense mechanisms!!

Teaching troubled and troubling kids!!!

Troubled kids don’t have feelings;
they are had by their feelings!!

Conflict-Stress-- Kids...and Teachers

Many of the children and youth we work with and teach come from environments with toxic levels of stress.

People can experience...4 Categories of Stress….

•       Developmental

•       Economic/Physical

•       Psychological

•       Reality

Know this:

Kids in stress create in adults their feelings,

   and if not trained and conscious of this,

the adult will mirror their behavior!!

Learning the skills to provide "emotional first aide" is critical when working with kids that live in environments of high stress.

Many of the kids we work with are in a state of "hyper-arousal".

As teachers... this stress is contagious and we need to create classrooms and that provide "less" not more stress.

Teaching children and their teachers the social and emotional skills necessary to handle themselves is critical to our work...

Conflict Cycle- Nick Long

Conflict can escalate quickly and usually start with a trigger that is not a major problem....but quickly escalates into more and more hostility!

Begin to view conflict as a "stressful incident" ...kept alive by the reactions or inactions of others!!

Learning to "de-escalate" students is a critical skill when working in todays classrooms....

We can all learn to provide "EMOTIONAL FIRST AIDE" !!

Learning the Conflict Cycle---Nick Long

1. An incident occurs (frustration, failure, etc.) that ACTIVATES a troubled student’s irrational beliefs (e.g., “Nothing good ever happens to me,” “Adults are unfair!”), which in turn defines it as a stressful incident .
2. These negative beliefs and thoughts determine and TRIGGER the intensity of the student’s feelings.
3. These intense feelings – not the student’s rational forces – DRIVE his or her inappropriate behaviors.
4. The inappropriate behaviors (yelling, threatening, sarcasm, refusing to speak) INCITE adults.
5. Adults not only pick up the student’s feelings, but also they frequently MIRROR the student’s behaviors (yell back, threaten, etc.).
6. These negative adult REACTIONS increase the student’s level of stress, escalating the conflict into a self-defeating crisis.

7. Although the student may lose this battle (i.e., he or she is punished), the student wins the war! His or her SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY (irrational belief about adults) is REINFORCED. Therefore, the student has no motivation to change or alter the irrational beliefs or the inappropriate behaviors.

The Conflict Cycle

The secret of “Turnaround Teachers”....

TURNAROUND TEACHERS DO DISCIPLINE DIFFERENTLY!

CONNECT- connections are natural emotional bonds. 

      Teachers have hundreds of opportunities every day to provide encouragement and affirmation that lead to positive connections.

          

 CLARIFY-  helping students to clarify and think through their problems and difficulties, to reflect on their challenges, THE TEACHER supports and models positive problem solving skills.

 RESTORE-  resolving conflict in positive ways and meeting students needs creates natural harmony and healing. The goal is to build strength.

This is very different from the usual chain of :

NAG-NAG-THREATEN---PUNISH!!!

Cycles of Violence and Pain Based Behavior

In a typical year, about 3 million children in the

  United States are reported to child protective

  services as alleged victims of maltreatment.

  It is no coincidence that 3 million children also

  come in contact with the juvenile justice system.

  Often these statistics track the same children at

  different stages of development.

-Kelly, Thornberry & Smith- (1997)

21st Century Schooling & Corporal Punishment in Public Schools

Yes... we still hit kids in American Public Schools..

Corporal Punishment in Public Schools, by State-2008

The following table lists the states allowing corporal punishment in schools according to state name and the number of students hit.

States Allowing Corporal Punishment

State	Number of students hit	Percent of total students
Alabama	33,716	4.5%
Arizona	16	(1)
Arkansas	22,314	4.7
Colorado	8	(1)
Florida	7,185	0.3
Georgia	18,249	1.1
Idaho	111	0.4
Indiana	577	0.5
Kansas	50	.01
Kentucky	2,209	0.3
Louisiana	11,080	1.7
Mississippi	38,131	7.5
Missouri	5,159	0.6
New Mexico	705	0.2
North Carolina	2,705	0.2
Ohio	672	0.04
Oklahoma	14,828	2.3
South Carolina	1,409	0.2
Tennessee	14,868	1.5
Texas	49,197	1.1
U.S. total	223,190	0.46

NOTES: Figures are from 2008.

1. Less than 0.1%

Source: The Center for Effective Discipline, Columbus, Ohio. www.stophitting.com

School Reform... What is exactly different??

'How has the world of the child changed in the last 150 years?' … the answer is.....

 'It's hard to imagine any way in which it hasn't changed….
they're' immersed in all kinds of stuff that was unheard of 150years ago, and yet if you look at schools today versus 100 years ago, they are more similar than dissimilar'.

---Peter Senge

Adult-ism and School Cultures....

       “Adult-ism” Verses Climates of Excellence??

                                                                          

                Insist or Enlist???

      Enlisting                            OR              Insisting

Goal:  Developing responsible, critical thinkers and problem solvers.	Goal:  Imposed academic/behavioral standards and maintaining order. Obedience main focus.
Problems are opportunities. Adults interact with students to assist and model problem solving.  Conflict positive.	Problems are trouble.  Adults’ emphasis is on suppression of problems and conflict. Conflict negative.
Rules are FEW and have meaning for all. They are agree on collaboratively and encourage “rights” with “responsibilities”.  Social and Emotional Learning is formally taught.	Rules are ABUNDANT.  Rules promote conformity, mask problem solving deficiencies, impede student learning.  Consequence driven.  Social and Emotional learning is absent.
Student and staff feedback about and criticism of the environment is solicited and valued.  Perceptual data used to investigate climate.	Feedback on the environment is limited or non-existing.  Perceptual data is not used to evaluate the school climate.
Student government tackles real life problems, works to improve the environment of the school community.	Student government is adult controlled, and tasks focus on event planning.
Social Status:  Adults/students recognize helpfulness and contributions of all students are celebrated.	Social Status:  Bestowed by adults upon “gifted” students and those who conform.
Community Service:  “Service Learning” is viewed as an exercise to promote empathy, citizenship, and community living skills.	Community Service: Intermittent activities reserved for most capable students or associated with restitution for one’s “anti-social” behavior.
Adult vernacular regarding students is respectful, hopeful and encouraging.	Adult vernacular regarding students is demeaning, intolerant, or discouraging.

 -   Thomas F. Tate and Randall L. Copas ( Reclaiming Children and Youth, 2003 )