Tuesday, November 27, 2012

THE ART OF DECODING.....seeing underneath behavior


On his first visit to kindergarten, while mother was
still with him, Bruce, age five, looked over the paintings on
the wall and asked loudly, 
"Who made these ugly pictures?"

Mother was embarrassed. 
She looked at her son
disapprovingly and hastened to tell him, 
"It's not nice to call the pictures ugly when they are so pretty."

The teacher, who understood the meaning of the
question, smiled and said, 
"In here you don't have to paint pretty pictures. You can paint mean pictures if you feel like it." 

A big smile appeared on Bruce's face, for now he had
the answer to his hidden question: 
"What happens to a boy who doesn't paint so well?"

Next Bruce picked up a broken fire engine and
asked self-righteously, 
"Who broke this fire engine?"

Mother answered,
 "What difference does it make to you who broke it? 
You don't know anyone here."

Bruce was not really interested in names. He
wanted to find out what happened to boys who break toys.

Understanding the question, the teacher gave an
appropriate answer:
 "Toys are for playing. Sometimes they get broken. It happens."

Bruce seemed satisfied.
 His interviewing skill had netted him the necessary information:

 "This grownup is pretty nice. She does not get angry quickly, even when a
picture comes out ugly or a toy is broken. I don't have to be afraid.
 It is safe to stay here." 

Bruce waved good-bye to his mother and went over to the teacher to start his first day in kindergarten.
LSCI Institute Between Parent & Child, Haim Ginott, 1968



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